I have a friend that I used to be scared of. A friend who is clever, I used to be so intimidated. I have a friend who is going to be a doctor. Someone who when I first met her six years ago, I went home and said ‘Mum, there is this girl, and she is just so good at everything. And I couldn’t play the scale she wanted me to play but she said it was easy and I must be stupid!’.
I have a friend who picks me up when I am down. Who takes my hand when I’m afraid. I have a friend who holds me and talks to me when I just don’t think I can do it anymore. Someone who helps me fight my demons.
I have a friend who has had a difficult past. A friend that puts on a brave face. I have a friend who is fighting a constant battle with herself. Someone who is fighting her own demons, every single day.
I have a friend that I’ve known for three years. We spoke when we were put in a group together for a science project. I have a friend who I began to learn about on French Exchange three years ago, when she made me draw graphs at 5am in the morning. Someone who seemed like a stranger.
I have a friend who I’ve only really known for a few months. She is just starting to let me in. I have a friend who sends truths as late night text messages. Someone who really is still a stranger now.
And those six friends? Yes, they’re one person. I’ve wound her up, I’ve pushed the boundaries of friendship. But so has she. And it has made us stronger. We’ve shared so many special times. I am a firm believer that friendship is what keeps us alive, and recently, I think we’ve proven that to the max.
I’m having to accept that she’s never ever going to let me help her, this friend. It’s the most difficult and painful thing that I’ve ever been asked to do. I think she knows. I think she knows how hard it is, and like me, she knows what might happen if she lets people in. The past tells us that trust is a very powerful and dangerous thing, and we must be careful who we trust. All I want is to make it better for her, and I know how hard it is to accept the truth, but I wish she’d try.
I have a friend who promises to never leave me. Who says that no matter what I do, she’ll still be here. I have a friend who makes me smile and makes me cry all at the same time. Someone who I am just beginning to believe. I really don’t think you’ll ever go, even when it is telling me otherwise. I won’t ever leave you either. I couldn’t.
I genuinely think that I was born to be with you. It’s time to get strong again. It’s time to smile.
This post is inspired by the daily prompt – I’ve cheated a little though. This prompt is from 28/3, but I only just found it and it seemed so important and relevant to the last few days.
Living. Laughing. Loving.