Seventy two hours.

I’m free now, I should be revising. I’m sat with my biology past paper questions in front of me with the intention to revise. But I can’t. She’s just told me that she hasn’t eaten since Sunday night and that she doesn’t intend to eat until tomorrow night. That’ll be seventy two hours. So instead of revising, I’m sat here shaking and fighting back tears. Everyone around me is working, but I just can’t concentrate. I don’t know how to comprehend this. I don’t know how I should react or try to cope with it.

Of course I want her to keep telling me things. In fact, I NEED that. I’ll be worse than this if she stops trusting me. But I have to find a way to deal with it. Because at the moment, it’s slowly slowly killing me.

And it hurts that I can’t help her. It hurts me every single time that I think about it. But I’m powerless, and once more I’m feeling lost and very much alone in the big wide world.

For now, I know that I need to put on a brave face and answer the respiration questions. But I need someone to light up the path and show me the way. There has to be a way out. Right now, it feels like I’m being stabbed. The pain is completely uncontrollable, and I’m not sure that I can hide it for much longer.

Living. Laughing. Loving.

alex122rw

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