Murky Mud Brown

I can feel it again. It’s building, slowly, but surely. With the knowledge that my next exam is only eleven days away, the panic is due to set in any day now. I’ve already got the characteristic exam season neck pain, and although thus far I’ve managed to avoid a breakdown, I can feel it beginning to flitter in the corner of my brain. These are the exams that really count. I don’t want to let anyone down, and I just want to please everyone. Hell, I don’t want to let myself down. Too often I’m an embarrassment to myself, and this time, I just don’t want that.

So the flittering continues. The bright spinning colours are slowly being overtaken by a murky mud brown colour. For now though, I’ll keep fighting the panic. I’ve learnt to identify it, and slowly, I’m learning to cope with it. They’re just exams, I’m not going to let them bring me down.

Secretly though, I’m not sure how long it’ll last. These aren’t just any exams. And it’s not just exams that I’m worrying about, and I’m really not sure how long I can fight the feeling. Eventually it’ll drown me. For now though, I’ve just got to keep on swimming.

Living. Laughing. Loving.


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