Panic. It’s back again. I’m desperately trying to take my best mates advice and believe in myself. But it’s so so hard.

I’ve got an exam this afternoon. I’ve been awake for an hour and a half, I’ve done a bit of work, but now I’m back in bed.

Why? I’m dizzy. I know I’m only dizzy because I’m letting the panic swallow me up. My heart rate has increased, my ventilation rate has increased, and I’m shaking. That’s why I feel dizzy.

I’m trying to be okay, I really really am. I’m trying to be positive, and I’m trying to remember the goal I set of just beating my clever but lazy friend, but it’s so difficult. The panic is taking over me. At the back of my mind is that niggling thought that the weight of my life is resting on these exams, and slowly, the blackness is taking me.

I need someone to believe in me. I want someone to help me to believe in myself. But I know that somehow, I’ll survive, because if it’s easy, it’s not worth living for.

Living. Laughing. Loving.


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