I said I was going to go and get drunk. After she left, I said I was going to the club. I didn’t. I had one drink in a pub, and I went home. I’m not up for it. I just want to know she’s okay. I want to know she made it home okay. I want her to know that I care about her, and that I love her to the moon and back, no matter what.
I can’t do that now though. It’s killing me, but I can’t do that.
On top of it all, I’ve no idea if my left contact lens is still in or if I cried it out somewhere. I’ve scratched all my eye up trying to get at it, but I can’t, so I must have lost it.
On the way home, I looked for a star to wish upon, but I couldn’t find one. I’m going to wish upon my heart instead.
Now, I’m going to try my very hardest to sleep. I’m in physical and emotional pain for two very different reasons, but I just hope that she finds it in her heart to forgive me. Because she means so much, too much, probably.