I miss you. I miss you and I think about you every single day. I don’t believe in god, and so I don’t think I believe in heaven, but I’d like to think that you’re in a happier place now. Deep down, I’d like to know that you aren’t just rotting away under the ground. I pick stars out for you sometimes, grandad. I’ll never forget you.
I wonder what you’d think if you could see me now. It’s not even been a year since we lost you, but so much has changed. I passed my driving test, and I’ve been driving for eight months! I know that would make you happy, and you’d think all your little tips from when you were an instructor years ago were what made me pass. I cut my hair off for charity, and ran 10K. I know you’d have sponsored me, you’d have been proud. You’d have loved to have seen the photos, and you’d have ruffled my new hair and made some kind of joke. What about my A Levels, grandad? What would you say about those? I’m waiting for my results, and I’m nervous! Wouldn’t it have been cool if you could have seen me go off to uni, and I could have written to you. I passed my grade seven flute, and I’ve just finished my last tour. Yes, I can hear you now, taking the mickey, but proud all the same. I’d play my pieces for you grandad. I regret never having the courage to come to the care home and play before you died. I regret even more not playing or making a speech at your funeral.
I turned eighteen, grandad! I’m an adult now, how cool is that?! I spent a few days in London, and I had a fabulous time. I’d have loved for you to be here to celebrate, it wasn’t the same without my whole family.
You’re always here with me grandad, I wear a locket with your initials on my wrist, every single day. You were a mardy old sod sometimes, but we loved you. We still love you. And I hope that somewhere out there, you’re thinking of me, too.
Lots and lots of love,
*This is part of a personal summer challenge that I have set myself to write ‘a letter’ to a different person or thing every week. I plan for there to be nine letters in total, and if anyone would like to join in this summer, even if just for one letter, or a letter to a person of their own, please link back to my blog, as I’d love to see it!*