But no, here I am sat in a local coffee shop, on my own, with a chai… I’m a nervous wreck. Why?
For starters, the person who was supposed to meet me isn’t here. She’s nearly an hour late now, and something tells me that she isn’t coming. That shouldn’t make me nervous, anything could have happened between making plans last night and this morning… But it does. My brain is stuck in limbo between feeling betrayed and sad that she’s let me down, and the nerves that maybe I’m just not worth it, alongside the fear that something terrible has happened to her. Gulp.
The bit of my brain space that remains, however, has other things on its mind. I’m meeting a family this afternoon, and if they like me, I’ll be their new babysitter. That’s all fine, I babysit already. But this new family has four kids under seven. I’m not sure I’ll be able to cope with that! We shall see.
So, as I sit here with the nerves progressively building, I’m praying once more that everything will be okay. It’s not working though, and all of the sinking feelings about results, my best friend, and the future are slowly but surely returning.
Living. Laughing. Loving.