Black Clouds are Looming

I may have just had a fantastic week, but now I’m home, reality is hitting, and the big black clouds are creeping closer and closer.

Not only is results day now only five days away (gulp), it’s also creeping up in conversation more and more. It’s driving me insane, and I’m really finding it difficult. I’m in a constant state of metal confusion between feeling excited, having a need to vent my frustration and fear at someone, and just wanting to hide for a very very long time.

In addition to this, I did something crazy today. I agreed to meet one of my teachers for coffee. Okay, I guess I’ve left school, so she’s an ex teacher, but still. It’s all very alien. At our leavers dinner, just over a month ago, there were a few issues. Lots of things happened, and I ended up telling a teacher about my best friends eating habits, and a few other things. It was horrifically emotional, and this teacher was amazing. Even so, that doesn’t affect the fact that I didn’t ever expect to receive an email from her. She’s just got back from a holiday, and sent an email to check I was okay and ask if I wanted to chat. So now, on Monday morning, I have to rock up in my school town, and sit in a coffee shop for an hour. Bless her, she’s doing it for the best, but that invite was NOT what I expected when I read my emails this morning. It’s definitely a bad idea. But why have I agreed to it? I’m not sure that I know that yet. There’s got to be a subconscious reason, I just wish that I could figure it out.

Living. Laughing. Loving.

alex122rw

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