I have a friend like that. I have a couple of friend’s like that, but I have one friend who is more than that. That one friend who I know that even if she was dying would come and see me if I needed a friend.
The problem of course, with that one friend, is when you think the feeling is one sided. It’s not mutual. When they make your heart flip, you don’t seem to make their’s flip. It’s disappointing, because no matter how close you are and how many secrets you share, you feel as though you could loose then at any given moment. When however, you realise that you are wrong, the feeling is amazing. It doesn’t matter if you make that realisation quickly, slowly, in a time of need, sadness, or happiness, making it will always be special. The time when you realise that actually, they DO need you. You are a good friend, and most importantly, you make their heart flip, too. The little things like letters, random face times, and stupid gifts make them smile, too. They smile not because the gifts themselves are so fabulous, but because you are special. And the fact that you’ve taken even just a second to consider them and send them something or say hi means everything. My best friend has always made my stomach churn because she cares, and the things she does are special because they’re done by her. Now, I think I’d be right to say that I have the same effect on her. It’s crazy, and it’s crazier that I’ve only just realised it, but I love that.
Now, I feel like all those ‘open when’ letters were worth my time. Writing each one was special for me, because I was writing them for her. Now I hope that for her, reading each one will be special. What I’ve written is probably bullshit in a lot of cases, but I hope that she’ll enjoy reading them, because they were written by me. I’ve tried.
Yes, okay, call me crazy. I’m still not sure this is normal. But it’s how life goes, right? Nothing is really ‘normal’, is it? Not in our world, anyway.
Living. Laughing. Loving.