After weeks of excitement, the closer it came, the more scary today seemed. In fact, when I got up this morning, I was bricking it. When we eventually hurried my bags to my room, it was back to excitement.
With a couple of the others I headed to the first talk, nervous, but determined to relax, keep talking, and make friends. Since then, I’ve met the six people in my flat and whilst seeing someone drink straight whiskey intimidated me a little, I was relieved to find that on the other end of the spectrum one of my flat mates doesn’t drink at all.
I’m having fun. I took it easy on the alcohol tonight to get used to my surroundings, but then the club was awkward. I was clock watching, and generally unhappy, not even remotely tipsy enough to enjoy being cramped up in a hot sweaty room.
The midnight coffee and cake made me smile, but now, as I lie in bed, I’m not really sure how I feel. I can hear the club below, and I know that’s the end of my sleep this year. I’m worrying about how my friends are getting on and when I’ll see them again, and I’m worried about how I’ll cope this year. I’m excited for what the next week will bring, and even though I feel like I’ve got some people that I ‘know’ now, the concept of freshers still terrifies me.
It’s all just mixed emotions. Massively jumbled, and I’m not sure how to feel.
A few face times tomorrow should set my head straight.
For now, as much sleep as I can get whilst ignoring the banging below.
Living. Laughing. Loving.