Fuzzy Happy Haze

On Friday, I entered my biggest and best fuzzy happy haze ever. It was beautiful, and I loved it. I giggled, I smiled, and drew pictures and told stories of laughter down the phone to my best friend.

You see, there’s one person who makes me really smile. Yes, it’s my best friend. Recently, she’s developed this ability to make me so happy. I can wake up in tears, and by the evening, just thinking about her and talking about mundane things can make me feel on top of the world. She says it’s the distance, but I don’t care what it is, because it makes me feel amazing. She doesn’t manage it every day, but when she does, it’s really special. It’s little bit like when someone tells you really good news, or you’re a really good level of drunk, and all you want to do is jump around a bit because it feels like you’ve got too much energy. You’re so bubbly and bright and zip around the place grinning like a banshee.

Sadly, this morning, feeling unwell and worried about my mountains of work, I’ve come down from the haze with rather a bump. I’m lying in bed, afraid to get up and face the day which lies ahead of me. She said on Friday that we could FaceTime today, but I know that she’ll probably have forgotten, or run out of time. Even if she finds the time, I’m worried that I might not have the time. I’m not sure what to do, and so I’m hiding under the duvet. It’s a stupid idea, I can’t hide forever.

I’m going to get up, I’m going to be an adult, and I’m going to face today. I can’t have someone checking on me all the time, it doesn’t work like that anymore. It doesn’t matter how much I like it, I can’t expect it. I’ll get my work done, and later, I can hopefully relax as planned. It’s going to be fine, and everything will be a hell of a lot better if I just stop being such a stress ball.

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