Pain

After telling myself last night that I would have a lie in this morning, I woke up at seven with a stomach ache. Determined not to get up at such an ungodly hour on a weekend, I sat in bed with a bowl of granola, and watched a documentary.

It’s now 10.30am, and over the last hour or so, my stomach pain has gotten worse. Until now, I’ve been just about able to stagger to the toilet, but I’m not sure I could manage that now. The physical pain is excruciating, like someone is repeatedly stabbing me in my chest and stomach, and now I can barely move. I’m confined to my bed, curled in the foetal position, and fighting back tears. I don’t cry from physical pain, and I don’t intend to start right now. Standing makes me dizzy, and I have an overwhelming urge to be sick. It’s almost like I’m loosing feeling in my feet, but I’m telling myself that that’s impossible, I’m fine.

I don’t know what to do.

I can’t afford this today, I need to start revising, and catch up on the mountains of assignments. I need to have a productive weekend. Right now though, the pain is unbareable, and there’s no way I can sit at my desk. I don’t want to burden anyone, and I don’t know anyone well enough here to tell them, but I’m beginning to worry that this may be a little more than ‘just a stomach ache’.

Go away pain, let me sleep, let me work, let me do something. Please, I’m begging you.

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