I feel really awful that it’s come to the point where I’ve got to write this, but I feel as though I’m left with no choice. I’m really struggling to find any way at all to reach the same level as or connect with one of my flat mates. I don’t know anyone well enough to share this view, and next year, I’ve got to live with the girl. She’s driving me crazy, and I’m not sure how much longer I can go without hitting her (and no, I’m not a violent person. At all. Ever.)
I’ve just been into the kitchen to cook my dinner, but she’s in there washing up, and I’m at the point now where instead of cooking and tolerating her for fifteen minutes, I simply turned around and walked straight back out. While Im the first to admit that I may not be the most social of creatures, I’m usually pretty good at getting on with, or at least tolerating the people that I meet and spend time with.
I can’t even put my finger on exactly what it is about her that gets me, it’s a combination of things. Initially, in the first few days, it was that she would mid conversation run to her room, sob extremely loudly, and then come back out ten minutes later with red puffy eyes and tears still trickling down her face, claiming she was ‘fine’. My opinion: attention. Okay okay, I know maybe you think I’m jumping to conclusions, but seriously, you didn’t see it. Or hear it. Surely if you’ve just met a group of people, even if you’re sad, you make every effort to keep it to yourself? I don’t let people see me cry if I can help it, only my very very closest friends. Other people do, but this was just a whole new level.
It makes me angry that she has no real opinions and agrees with everything everyone says. ‘Oh yes, the kitchen being such a mess annoys me so much, it’s not hard to clear up after yourself.’ Oh really, so why is it that 90% of the mess belongs to YOU!? And no matter what she’s said, about any topic, if you oppose her view, she agrees with you, instantly. My opinion: trying too hard.
There’s a tone to her voice that I just don’t like. A whiny tone. And yes, that’s probably very judgemental and I should say it, but it’s how I feel.
If you’re out with someone else, don’t put on the group message that you miss us lot, and when nobody responds to you, put it on another five or six times.
And the last bit, if I’m trying to work, or even if I’m not trying to work, please don’t knock on my door for attention. I don’t care. I don’t want to hear you say ‘Oh look, it’s nine pm and I’ve got to go the library to finish an essay, I’m such a god student!’ Firstly, it’s lies. Secondly, I don’t care. Thirdly, stop attention seeking.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry I feel this way, but it’s just how I feel. I don’t like it when I dislike someone, because I think everyone is special in their own way, but this is just one person who I can’t deal with. Perhaps she just feels a bit fake, but either way, I don’t like it. I really really don’t want to live with her next year, and I can’t imagine how bad she’ll be in exams. But we’ll take it each day at a time, and pray that it gets better.