I said my goodbyes, and one by one I moved around the flats, hugging each person in turn. The last person to say goodbye to was the girl who at the start of semester, I adored, and I thought that we’d go on to be really good friends. Recently, she’s not been talking to me, and it has knocked me down a lot. I must have done something wrong, and I was gutted. This girl had my name for Secret Santa though, and she bought me the cutest and most thoughtful present. That’s weird, talk about mixed messages! Last night, I decided that instead of sitting alone, I should join in with the group games. I did, and it was the best night of the semester! Later on, after smiling and laughing all night, I dropped her a text, to apologise for being antisocial as of recent, some bad things had happened, and I’d really enjoyed the evening. She text back the cutest reply, and I was smiling once again. I still think her actions have been very odd, but then, maybe mine have a little too, and regardless of the situation, I still think she’s very trustworthy. So, today, when I said my goodbyes I turned to hug her, but first, I smiled. She smiled back, and pulled me into a hug that was just a little bit tighter than all the others, and very quickly and discretely rubbed my back. ‘Thank you’, I whispered. ‘Make sure you have a fantastic Christmas’, she replied. It’s strange, and I probably shouldn’t see it as positive, and it’s me probably being just a little too hopeful, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I’ve said my goodbyes, we had a floor Christmas dinner, society parties, and a Thursday night out for someone’s birthday. Now, I’ve climbed onto the train home, and I’m very very excited. Surprisingly, I’m a little sad to be leaving the university, even though I’ve never really felt like I fit in. The feeling is mixed however, with the fact that I’ll be going home, I’m seeing my family, I’m helping at Rainbows, I’m visiting Rangers and school, I’m meeting my best friend for coffee and my other friends for dinner. There’s good food, Christmas cheer, and revision to look forward to.
I’m feeling very very content, and it’s beautiful. I won’t work on this journey, but I will smile, and live with the knowledge that in three hours, I’ll be home again.