Sometimes it’s best to pull people into a false sense of security, to assure them that you’re okay, and that it’s okay, and that there’s no need to worry. Sometimes it’s safer, and it’s easier, and saves hassle and questions.
But if that person really knows you, they’ll never truly believe it. Perhaps for a while, in a wasted attempt to be free, they’ll try to trust you, and allow you to cover them with the security blanket, too. They will allow themselves to believe that you are okay, because they don’t want to fear for your life every day.
But when that person has the revelation once more that it’s not true, it’s a shock. If that person knows and loves you, it won’t be long before they realise the lies. Actually, you’re not okay. And I should have been worrying about you.
It’s then, when that person realises that they’ve been missing the truth, that they are crushed.
It’s when they notice that things aren’t right.
It’s when they hate themselves for believing the lies, and allowing the security blanket to envelop them.
It’s only then that the person feels guilt. When the blanket is ripped away, they scream from the pain.
It’s when they feel like a hot dagger has torn through them. They stopped helping. They thought it was okay.
It’s then that they become emotionless, fearful, and afraid.
It’s then that they realise that they should have predicted it all along.
It’s only now that I realise how stupid I’ve been. I let her pull the blanket over my eyes, and now the reality has hit me with one big THWACK.
Once more, my fear for her is deep in my chest, and even if it may be one thing too much right now, nothing can make the ache go away. I love her, I can’t be blind anymore. Even if she wants to be blind, I won’t. Because I fear for her life.