It’s not about who you miss at 4am when you’re lonely, it’s about who you miss at 2pm when you’re busy.
And I miss you. Twenty-four-seven. Like seriously, sometimes I think it’s a little weird exactly how much I miss you. But I guess it’s not, really. It makes sense. I thought the hardest part of these five weeks apart would be when I was in a place that I’ve visited the most with you by my side. London, of course. While we went to places that you introduced me to, and I did wish for you to be by my side, it wasn’t as hard as it is right now. I still missed you though. I’m always missing you.
Right now, it’s a little different. There’s 7 days and 17 hours until you arrive at my university to visit me for three nights. I’m so excited! A few days ago, you told me that you are excited, and that made me smile more than ever. But with exams looming, my stress levels at an all time high, and more tears than I have time for, I miss you more than ever.
I spend a lot of my time working out the time difference between home and where you’re visiting your dad, wondering if you’ve gotten up yet, how far you skied today, and what you’re eating. I hope that you’ll call me tomorrow, because it’s been so long since I heard your voice, and your voice is one of the few things that comforts me. It relaxes me, and while it’ll never have the same effect as one of your bloody awesome hugs, I feel a certain amount of tension fall from my shoulders when you call to say hi.
Now though, I need to concentrate on my exams. I miss you lots, and while I’d quite happily talk to you all day long, and it’s usually self inflicted, I really really can’t. I just can’t be distracted anymore, and so I mustn’t allow myself to contact you. That’s going to be hard.
But I’ll see you next week and we can talk and laugh and drink chai and smile, and cry if we need to, too. But we’ve got three days of fun to look forward to, and I’m so excited to steal your time away and claim it for myself.
I can’t wait to see you, but I miss you. You’re my big sister, and it’s hard without your little piece of the jigsaw to keep my heart glued together.