What shouldn’t I be doing right now?

The simple answer to that question is blogging. So what am I doing? Blogging, of course!

It’s just gone midnight, I’ve just climbed into bed and there’s tears rolling down my cheeks that I just can’t control. Why? I just spent a solid twelve hours working on a lab report, only stopping for salad, toast, chocolate, biscuits and some carrots. It’s still not finished, and I don’t really have any time left to get it finished, either.

Perhaps university is too much for me. Maybe I just can’t hack it. Every single teacher who I trusted and adored told me that uni would be so much easier than A Level’s, but it’s really not. I just look at everything I have due in the next four weeks and my initial reaction is to worry about when I’m going to revise or file lecture notes. Then I worry about when I’ll eat and sleep. I need my sleep, at least 9 hours a night, or I just can’t function.

And that’s why I’m crying. I’m tired, I’m extremely stressed, and I’m not coping. It’s been a long day, and I’d normally have been in bed two hours ago! I know tomorrow isn’t going to be any better, and I don’t know how to deal with it. I need to expel some frustration, but there’s simply no time to run.

So I’m going round in circles. If I’m not careful, circles will become spirals, and we all know that spirals are dangerous.

But for now, I should sleep. I have to find a way to cope, because if I can’t hack this, I’ll never cure cancer, but I don’t think that 00.30 when I’m already emotional from sleep deprivation is exactly the time to be thinking about coping mechanisms. How about working for the short term and bloody well SLEEPING!?

They’ll be tomorrow. They’ll be a way out. I’ll make it. It’s just another mountain to climb, and I know they’re always absolutely amazing when I get to the top.

Apologies, I’m so sleepy that I’m not even going to proof read. Please bare with me, at least I’m back to blogging!


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