Contented

I feel easy, free, happy, warm and fuzzy. I’m content, and it’s beautiful. I always feel awesome after time with my best friend, it’s like a complete detox from the world. I think her awesome-ness just rubs off on me a little, and it makes me feel all glowing inside. I absolutely love it.

Despite an afternoon of a nagging brother, a very stressful day ahead tomorrow, and feeling very tired, I’m coping well with the world. I’m noticing little things today. I’m appreciating the little things, and I’m taking the time to float around on my little happy cloud and to just be. No expectations, no anxiety, just being.

I did a good deed today. I went to the supermarket, and as I walked from the far end of the car park, I watched the people climbing into and out of their cars, busying themselves and going about their day. Being such an introvert, I love to people watch. It helps me to figure out the world and to learn a little about people, to try and understand people, and what makes us who we are. To understand what makes my best friend so caring, and some other people so disgusting. Sadly, it’s something I don’t often get time to do. I lead a busy life. But today, on my happy cloud, I found time. I noticed, whilst walking through the supermarket carpark, two ladies. One, elderly and struggling to walk, and the second presumably her daughter. They’d just loaded the shopping into the car and whilst the older woman struggled to climb into the back seat, the younger one was trying to negotiate two trolleys into some kind of organised form so she could transport them back. ‘Hey,’ I said ‘Would you like me to take those for you?’ She was speechless. I took them, and as I walked away I heard them discussing how nice it was. That made me smile, that I could make someone else happy, and just prove to one more person that not all teenagers are the same. We’re not all the stereotype.

Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band. I’ve fallen in love. It’s not the only thing I’ve fallen in love with this week – look at this, it’s not surprising that I’m chilled!

 

But my best friend is awesome. Nobody else on earth makes me feel this good about myself. She’s looked after me again, and taught me that people will always care about me. She’s reinforced my ‘okay-ness’ and I can’t thank her enough. She’s a shining star, that girl, I only wish she could see it.

I owe her a thank you. Her, and her flat mates. They made my time full of laughter, and made me content that I can socialise if I try. The world is fairly safe.

In my content-ness and warmth, I’ve been thinking. Thinking about supporting myself through the enevitable stress of second year; and also trying a variation of something I saw online. Every week, I’m going to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone. Idea for challenges are needed, I’m going to write the list best week and I only have two or three things so far! Sometimes that’s going to terrify me and there’s weeks when I’m sure the task won’t end well, but even from 500 miles away, my best friend stands by my side.

And I’ll stand by her. Forever and always.

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