Ache

Hey, you! Best friend! I love you, stupid!

Don’t forget that okay?! You mean lots to me and I miss you every single day. Last year, I used to get upset. I was afraid, I guess, that something would happen and you wouldn’t be there any more. Of course, that wasn’t true. You’re always here to stand beside me and to giggle with the morning after a night out (yep, that’s got to be the best bit!).

This year has been different. I’ve been a lot more confident, in everything. I think that a lot of that has stemmed from the confidence in our friendship. I know you’re here, and that’s it. I know that when I see you again nothing will change, we will laugh, I will cry, we will worry, we’ll dance, and everyone will ask if we are a couple (lols, just no!). When I said goodbye to you this weekend, I knew it probably wouldn’t be six months until I saw you again. Of course I was sad, but not sad enough to hurt me. We hugged, we promised to Skype, and I skipped off.

Now though, I’m absolutely aching for you. I feel as though I miss you with every bone in my body, and that’s something that I haven’t felt so far in second year. It’s a little like last year, but there’s something that I can’t quite pinpoint that isn’t the same. I’m not hurting. I know you’ll be back, and I know when I inebetably need you on results day you’ll be there (hell, my next step is to call you ‘just for a chat’ – I’d love to be spontaneously confident enough to do that, and I’d love it even more the day you called me out of nowhere!). It’s not helping though, it’s not making the aching feeling in my chest go away. It’s like I’ve realised all over again exactly how much you mean to me and I just want to share that with you. I don’t want you to be hundreds of miles away, because I’m coming down from our amazing weekend and reality and a lack of laughter is slowly hitting me, and it’s hitting me hard! I’m not hurting, and I’m definitely not afraid. I’m simply aching.

Perhaps I’m finally learning the true definition of ‘I miss you’. What do you think?

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Five Years

Five years, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t really that long. But when you look at it that I’m twenty in a few months, five years seems much longer – a quarter of my life in fact. And five years is the amount of time I’ve known my best friend, as facebook very kindly told us today.

There’s times when I wonder how we made it though that time: how did she ever put up with me? How have I coped with her? But the answer is simple, we care about and love each other more than the other realises. That’s what friendship is about, and I love and appreciate that more than anything else in the world.

Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs. All friends do, and it’s perfectly normal. We’ve got our happy memories and laughter, and we have our regrets. In fact, I have a lot of regrets. But it’s important not to focus on the past, and instead consider the future.

There’s been times when I thought I might loose her, either through pushing her away with my own silliness, or really, actually loosing her. Forever, and gone. Dead. I hate that word. There’s been nights that I’ve been terrified that I won’t see her in the morning, or that she won’t want me to care anymore and will demand to never see me again. There’s been many many nights that I’ve worried about her.

I wish I had a magic wand and could make it all okay, for both of us.

But I can’t, so what’s important is that I’m always here for her. She could call me in tears at 3am, and I wouldn’t care. Hell, I’ve called her in tears at that time. She could call me one afternoon and tell me not to ask questions but make her laugh, and I’d try my complete and honest best to do so. She could ask me to sit in silence with her just so she knew that someone was there, and I would do it. She’s done it for me. If she needed me to, I’d happily jump on a plane and see her right now. I’d travel wherever she needed to go. I would do absolutely anything, and I truly and honestly mean that from the bottom of my heart.

I miss her every single day and I think about her every day. I worry about her every day, regardless of how she actually is. I wonder how little parts of my day would be different if she was there, and sometimes there’s nothing I can do to make myself feel okay because I just need her by my side, and she can’t be there. She’s far away now, and I miss her. I miss her more than I should, or more than I’d care to let anyone know.

Because friendship is everything to me. So here’s to the next five years, and that thought brings the escape of the single tear that I’ve been fighting back for weeks. Because I’m very very lucky to have someone who means and cares so much.

Contented

I feel easy, free, happy, warm and fuzzy. I’m content, and it’s beautiful. I always feel awesome after time with my best friend, it’s like a complete detox from the world. I think her awesome-ness just rubs off on me a little, and it makes me feel all glowing inside. I absolutely love it.

Despite an afternoon of a nagging brother, a very stressful day ahead tomorrow, and feeling very tired, I’m coping well with the world. I’m noticing little things today. I’m appreciating the little things, and I’m taking the time to float around on my little happy cloud and to just be. No expectations, no anxiety, just being.

I did a good deed today. I went to the supermarket, and as I walked from the far end of the car park, I watched the people climbing into and out of their cars, busying themselves and going about their day. Being such an introvert, I love to people watch. It helps me to figure out the world and to learn a little about people, to try and understand people, and what makes us who we are. To understand what makes my best friend so caring, and some other people so disgusting. Sadly, it’s something I don’t often get time to do. I lead a busy life. But today, on my happy cloud, I found time. I noticed, whilst walking through the supermarket carpark, two ladies. One, elderly and struggling to walk, and the second presumably her daughter. They’d just loaded the shopping into the car and whilst the older woman struggled to climb into the back seat, the younger one was trying to negotiate two trolleys into some kind of organised form so she could transport them back. ‘Hey,’ I said ‘Would you like me to take those for you?’ She was speechless. I took them, and as I walked away I heard them discussing how nice it was. That made me smile, that I could make someone else happy, and just prove to one more person that not all teenagers are the same. We’re not all the stereotype.

Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band. I’ve fallen in love. It’s not the only thing I’ve fallen in love with this week – look at this, it’s not surprising that I’m chilled!

 

But my best friend is awesome. Nobody else on earth makes me feel this good about myself. She’s looked after me again, and taught me that people will always care about me. She’s reinforced my ‘okay-ness’ and I can’t thank her enough. She’s a shining star, that girl, I only wish she could see it.

I owe her a thank you. Her, and her flat mates. They made my time full of laughter, and made me content that I can socialise if I try. The world is fairly safe.

In my content-ness and warmth, I’ve been thinking. Thinking about supporting myself through the enevitable stress of second year; and also trying a variation of something I saw online. Every week, I’m going to challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone. Idea for challenges are needed, I’m going to write the list best week and I only have two or three things so far! Sometimes that’s going to terrify me and there’s weeks when I’m sure the task won’t end well, but even from 500 miles away, my best friend stands by my side.

And I’ll stand by her. Forever and always.

What I Want to Tell You

I want to remind you that I’m here for you, and I want to remind you that I care. I need you to know that I love you, and you mean so much to me, that I simply cannot find the words. You make me laugh and smile, you know when to mess around and wind me up, and when to stay quiet, hug me, or give me advice. It means more than anything in the world. This friendship is crazy, and there’s times when I’m not even sure how it happened.

I want to remind you that I trust you. I trust you with my life, and there’s been days that I would not have made it through without you. I know that if I ever needed you, you’d be there. It’s just a phone call or a plane ride. You’re never more than a day away.

I want you to know that you taught me to be confident, to believe in myself, and to start to learn to be positive. You’ve done more for me than many adults have. You’re wise beyond your years. You’re a listener. You care. You give the best advice.

Most of all, I want you to know that you can trust me, too. I want to remind you that you can tell me anything, and that I love you to the moon and back. Nothing will ever change you, because I have already defined who you are. I already know that you’re beautiful, funny, kind, and silly. I know you’re awesome, and nothing is ever ever going to change that.

I want you to know that you can call me, anytime. You can laugh, you can tell me funny stories, you can be drunk, you can be sober, you can be sleepy, happy, upset, or angry. I may not always be able to find the words, but I’m always here to listen to you. I want you to know that if you need it, I’m here to hold your hand. I’m here to fight by your side. I’m here to wipe away the tears. And when you don’t need it, I’m here to just be present while you’re angry, or to laugh with you when you’re happy, or to be excited with you when you graduate.

No matter how bad or good anything gets, or how far away I am, nothing changes that. You can always trust me, just like I trust you. I’ll wait until you’re ready, I’ll wait forever if I have to, but I’m here to be by your side. Always and forever.

So maybe you didn’t want me to know about therapy. Maybe you did and your hints were your own way of telling me without having to talk. Maybe I got it all wrong and you did want to talk. I don’t know. I’d like to know what is going on, I’d like you to trust me, because it breaks me every single day to know that you’re hurting. But I want what’s best for you, and perhaps telling me is too much. Just don’t forget that I’m here when you’re ready. Nothing will change that. You can’t change that. I’m ready to listen, and I’m ready to do whatever you need me to, or even the things that you don’t need me to.

I’m here to wipe away tears. I’m here to listen. I’m here to chat for hours on the phone, or even to sit in silence if it helps to know that I’m here. I’m here to eat ice cream and watch movies and play card games at 3am. I want you to know that I’m your friend. I want you to trust me, so please please try. I may not show it, but I think and worry about you every single day. Even now, you may claim that you’re okay, but nothing is ever just okay, and when you care for someone as much as I do you, the things you keep quiet are not forgotten. You don’t have to be okay, I’m your friend. I’m safe, like I know that you’re safe. I couldn’t live without you. I want you to know that. So don’t forget it.

Talk to me. I’ll wait as long as you need.

Awesome

She’s awesome. My best friend is completely well and truly awesome. There’s hundreds of reasons, and tonight, they’re whizzing around my head. I miss her. I miss her warmth, her hugs and her laugh. I miss her silly faces and her ability to feed me waaaaay too much sugar. I miss revising with her, or being able to turn before an exam begins and watch her mouth ‘good luck’. She’s awesome, and she’s done so many awesome things. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. And there aren’t many beautiful people in this grey world, so she is very very special.

She’s my hand while talking to teachers.
Started to instil a positive mindset into me.
Given me the cutest birthday presents.
Carried me home whilst terribly drunk, and sat and held my hair at the toilet later on.
Wrapped me into a protective bubble in her arms when I was telling her the darkest secrets of my past.
Drawn pictures with me late at night.
Taught me to run.
And came back to run the end of the 10K with me so we could finish hand in hand.
Made me friendship bracelets.
Helped me to overcome fears and fight off demons.
Taught me that if you love someone enough, you will do anything to help them.
And in that, taught me that it’s always possible to forgive. The one time I thought she would never forgive me, she did.
Took me to a pub quiz where I knew nobody, had three glasses of wine on an empty stomach, got dizzy, and made and fed me pasta when we got home.
Rescued me from the flute lessons where I just broke down due to stress.
Taken long post-exam drives with me in the countryside.
Took me for coffee after my flute exam.
Stayed up all night just holding me while I sobbed.
Sometimes, she cried with me.
Went on a night out with me in London.
Made me laugh all day long.
Allowed me to be buzzing and happy despite being hundreds of miles away.
Supported me through my grandad’s illness and death.
And lit candles with me to remember him afterwards.
Stayed up late watching movies.
Accompanied me to my charity hair cut so she could laugh and take photos.
Always remained calm no matter what I have to say.
Eaten copious amounts of food.
Ran around Bristol like madman with me.
Waited with me at 5am outside Matilda in order to get tickets.
Made me feel brave enough to face giving blood.
Always believed in me.
And in doing that, she’s taught me to believe in myself.
Took me to visit my friend in an eating disorder clinic.
Made me cocktails on my eighteenth birthday.
Got tipsy and danced with our favourite teacher on her eighteenth birthday.
Taught me to trust again.
Talked me through lots and lots of panic attacks.
Been proud of me when nobody else was.
Allowed me to feel pride in the odd time that I proved her wrong.
And still helped me every single time I cried tears of frustration over things I couldn’t do.
Most of all, she’s been the big sister I never had. She’s been here for me every step of the way and I firmly believe that she will be, forever. I’d do the same for her, always and forever.

This friendship started with a shared secret. It was a secret that belonged to neither of us, but a secret that had a massive effect on our lives. It brought us to be extremely close, and have thousands of memories. I often wonder if she can remember like I do, if I’ve had an effect on her like she’s had on me. I wonder if she can remember things that I cannot.

But it doesn’t matter, because even if there’s things I’ve forgotten, the warmth in my heart when I think about her is enough. The ache I feel when I’m worried about her or haven’t seen her for months is enough. The smile I get when I’ve spoken to her is enough. It’s enough to know that she’s awesome. For that, I cannot thank her enough.

I truly hope that her exams go well. I want her to know that I miss her and love her, and I’m never ever going to let her go. I know these are just words, but she’s too far away for anything else. She’s awesome. And I wish she’d never forget that, or forget how much she means to me. I can’t wait for summer.

Someone Else’s Island

Of course, if I knew that my best friend was going to be stuck on a desert island, I’d send her with things that would keep her alive until I could come and get her. That’s common sense, right? No, you’re wrong. I wouldn’t need to send her with a tent, a torch, food, water, and a knife. She’s a scout, and an ex cadet. I’d imagine that she’d be pretty good at fending for herself in the wild. Besides, fire is MUCH more fun than a torch, isn’t it? And a heck of a lot more useful, too!

So, I wouldn’t be that person, I wouldn’t send her with the ‘essentials for life’. I’d want her to survive until I could rescue her, of course, but she’s smart and she’s tough, and I’m pretty sure she’d manage just fine without those things.

First, I’d make sure that she had a Polaroid camera and a scrapbook. Going to a desert island is something that you’re only ever going to do once, so you may as well make the most of it, right? And besides, being the clever little bean that she is, she’d probably discover something new and exciting while she was there, and become famous when she returned home. That only works, of course, if you can document your discovery.

Next, a piano. Music keeps us sane in the darkest times, and it’s beautiful. Music would help her when times got tough, and would mean that she wouldn’t loose touch with the world back home, or forget the people that she’d left behind.

Thirdly, a locket containing special magic to keep her safe. I can’t say exactly what this locket would contain, yet, because that’s a secret that as a mere human, I cannot know. But everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes, we get into trouble. If for some reason, you started to drown, or a beast came after you, you’d have the locket. It would provide one escape, and one more chance. Everyone deserves a second chance, and everyone has someone out there that needs them, no matter how dark things may seem.

Not forgetting, suncream. I’m sorry mate, but you’re one of those people. No matter how hard you try, you’re going to get burnt without it!

Finally, but certainly not least, I’d like to go with her. For starters, you’d go pretty insane alone on an island, with nobody to speak to, or ask for advice. Whilst I’m sure it would be good for both of us to escape the real world and the pain that goes with it, and live on opposite coasts for a few days, I’d like to be able to treck through the jungle after a week or so, and say ‘hi, I’m here’. I’d want her to have someone to turn to, someone who she could trust, someone to love her, and someone to talk to. I wouldn’t want her to be left with her own mind, because I fear that it could hurt her. Most of all though, I’d want us to share the adventure, share the fun, share the memories, and make sure that we had some really cool stories to tell our grand kids!

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This was a response to the daily post.

Letting Go, and Allowing her to Protect Herself

It’s tough to go without contact, and there’s many reasons for that. Over the last six months or so, my trust has grown however, and it’s much easier now than it ever was before. It’s okay, she’s not like the others, and my best friend won’t abandon me. It doesn’t matter if we have a few weeks of silence, to allow her to concentrate, she’ll still be here for me, to hug me at christmas. Until then, I’ll just rock myself to sleep, shhh my own tears, and worry on my own. It’s only two weeks, I’m strong, and I can do that. I’m ready for it, and I’m feeling more determined than ever.

Whilst I can’t promise to say nothing for the next few weeks, I can sure slow down. And you know what I’m going to focus on? That when we meet up back at home, it’ll be even more special, they’ll be even more love, and we’ll truly have lots to talk about.

There’s only niggling feeling that holds me back, and it’s the ghosts of the last few months. Food, eating disorders, pain, worry, lies, and heartache. I saw a picture today of someone on Facebook. It’s been merely months since I last saw her, and though I didn’t know her well, I didn’t even recognise her in the photo. She looks old, her face looks gaunt, and she’s clearly lost a lot of weight since moving away. Someone who I used to go to school with, and see on a regular basis, a completely different person.

That could easily be my best friend. She could quite easily not eat another thing, and exercise for three hours a day for the next few weeks, and I’d be none the wiser. She could end up in A&E having collapsed, or even from self harm, and she’s so far away that she could probably lie it all away. I’d like to think that it wouldn’t happen. I’d like to think that she values her med school exams more than that, and I’d like to think that by this point, she trusts me and values me enough not to lie. I’d like to think that she’d read those envelopes before it got that bad, and she’d ask me for help.

But it’s scary. Nobody is perfect, and the prospect is still very real. That’s why I’m scared to let go. In the past, it may have been about me, but it’s just not that anymore. I truly care about her. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. She’s like a big sister to me, and I wouldn’t cope if I knew she was lying, and I certainly wouldn’t cope if she wasn’t in this world anymore. I love her, she’s beautiful in every way, and the back of my mind is a little afraid to let go, because it means that I can’t protect her anymore. I have to trust her to protect herself.

How to choose your friends.

Really old friends? When they skype you for a gossip and to laugh for hours, tell you how to reference your essay, and have a moan about how uni is corrupting your other friends, they’re worth holding on to.

Best friends? They’re the ones who will hold you for hours when you’re crying and wipe your tears away, but also have an amazing ability to make you laugh at the same time. They’re the ones who pick you up, take you for a coffee, and give you the best memories.

Unusual friends? Perhaps my flute teacher isn’t my ‘friend’, but when she sends emails to remind me that breathing and sleep are good for us, Bach is calming, and it’s raining at home, it sure makes me smile.

And new friends? If when you walk slightly nervously out of the door to go to a pub golf social, the person who says to you ‘Have fun, okay? Just enjoy yourself, and if you need me to get the bus down and carry you home, just text and I’ll be there.’ is usually worth keeping.

Friendship is a bizarre invention, but I love my friends. They make me who I am, they make me feel safe, and they make me very very happy, no matter what category they fit into.

That One Friend

You know that one friend who seems to do things that are more kind than the things that anyone else does? Who makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? How about the friend who wipes away your tears, laughs all day, and takes you out for coffee?

I have a friend like that. I have a couple of friend’s like that, but I have one friend who is more than that. That one friend who I know that even if she was dying would come and see me if I needed a friend.

The problem of course, with that one friend, is when you think the feeling is one sided. It’s not mutual. When they make your heart flip, you don’t seem to make their’s flip. It’s disappointing, because no matter how close you are and how many secrets you share, you feel as though you could loose then at any given moment. When however, you realise that you are wrong, the feeling is amazing. It doesn’t matter if you make that realisation quickly, slowly, in a time of need, sadness, or happiness, making it will always be special. The time when you realise that actually, they DO need you. You are a good friend, and most importantly, you make their heart flip, too. The little things like letters, random face times, and stupid gifts make them smile, too. They smile not because the gifts themselves are so fabulous, but because you are special. And the fact that you’ve taken even just a second to consider them and send them something or say hi means everything. My best friend has always made my stomach churn because she cares, and the things she does are special because they’re done by her. Now, I think I’d be right to say that I have the same effect on her. It’s crazy, and it’s crazier that I’ve only just realised it, but I love that.

Now, I feel like all those ‘open when’ letters were worth my time. Writing each one was special for me, because I was writing them for her. Now I hope that for her, reading each one will be special. What I’ve written is probably bullshit in a lot of cases, but I hope that she’ll enjoy reading them, because they were written by me. I’ve tried.

Yes, okay, call me crazy. I’m still not sure this is normal. But it’s how life goes, right? Nothing is really ‘normal’, is it? Not in our world, anyway.

Living. Laughing. Loving.

alex122rw

A letter to… My Best Friend

My best friend,

There’s a time in our lives when we come to realise that we have met the person who we are destined to be with for the rest of our lives. No no no, I’m not talking about a lover, a husband, a wife, I’m talking about a friend. We find that there is one person around whom we do not need to act, we do not need to put on a brave face. We do not need to wear certain clothes, or conform to certain ideals. At some point in our lives we meet someone who makes us truly happy. We kindle a friendship that makes our hearts flutter, and eventually, we realise that we will know that person until we’re grey and old, because now, they make us who we are, and without them, we are not complete.

Six years ago, when I first met you on a gifted and talented induction day at what would go on to be our school, I never thought that you would be that person. You know the story, I’ve told it too many times. Quiet little Alex went home and told her mum that there was a girl who could do everything. ‘She’s so clever and she told me to play a scale and I couldn’t and she just shouted that it was easy!’ I felt so intimated by you, and look where we are now! Can you imagine now if you asked me to play a scale which I didn’t know. I’d laugh in your face. How friendship changes things, hey?

French Exchange resulted in a friendship that nobody expected, and since then, we’ve just grown closer. You were the one that taught me to have confidence and be happy in my own skin. You taught me that I was worth it no matter what I was thinking and how I felt, so to always be myself. You’ve been there for me ever since, slowly knocking down my wall, one brick at a time, and shaping me into the person that I now am. From attending your sixteenth birthday party where I knew nobody and hardly spoke all night (but your mum said she liked me because I helped to clear up and it made me feel on top of the world!), to your eighteenth when we unexpectedly partied on a Sunday night, got just a little bit drunk, and came home giggling like school kids, I’ve never forgotten a moment of laughter.

I remember when we went to see les mis together at the cinema, when you got your head stuck in the Eiffle Tower, and when we queued for hours for Matilda tickets in London. I remember when I had my first glass of wine, we danced with a teacher, and when we met my Danish friend in Denmark. I remember when we sat in the library and revised the night before a GCSE maths exam, when you stood outside a teachers room with me at the start of year 12 for hours on end, and when you collected me from a few flute lessons. I remember when we got on the tube with our big camping rucksacks and tried to eat a cupcake, when we ran around the Bristol Science Museum like a couple of eight year olds, and when you fed me jelly cubes whilst mid panic-asthma-hypoglycaemic attack on DofE. I remember when we sat in Nero’s on strike day and I told you that my grandad had died. I remember when you first told me to believe, and I remember when I said it right back at you.

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I’ve said sorry far too many times over the past few years, and whilst I’m yearning to say it again, I won’t do. Instead, I wish to say thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing friend that I could ever ask for, and for always being a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for all the fun that you’ve provided me with, the wonderful knowledge, and always being my rock. Thank you for being so beautiful, for defending me when I needed it, and for listening to me ramble about complete rubbish when I didn’t. It means more than I can ever express in words.

I know that so very often I make you angry and frustrated with my ways. I’m set in stone, and I’m sure I’ve been a hard nut to crack. At the same time though, you’ve been just as hard. You’ve angered me so much over the past year, weather that be a petty little argument or a full blown rage about your current health and welfare. We’ve never really argued though, and that’s what makes this special. We only ever get annoyed because we care about each other, and I simply want you to be as happy as possible, and I don’t want to have to worry about you. Worrying is like putting a poison dagger through my heart, and the pain is unbearable, but I’ll do it a million times over if it means a better ending for you.

Something happened at leavers which changed us both, and I’m sure that we won’t ever forget that. That night was horrific, but at the same time, I hope it’s going to be turn out to be one of the best things that’s ever happened to you. It’s going to be okay. It can’t end until it’s okay. I don’t want to watch you die, it will kill me, too. Please be sensible at university, and make every effort to look after yourself. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m always here for you honey, and you’ll make it through this somehow.

As I watch this eating disorder consume you, and I watch how everything that has happened in your life affects you, I find myself over and over wanting to scream that IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. Often, it’s very frustrating, but at the same time, I understand there are probably many times when you want to scream it right back at me.

I got an email that said that I should be proud of myself because you wouldn’t have gotten to where you are without me. Of course you would. The person who wouldn’t have made it is me! Because I wouldn’t be where I am and who I am if you weren’t around, and for that I’m so grateful.

In the future, I want us to stay in touch. I want to be at your wedding, I want to see your children grow up. I probably shouldn’t say this now, but I want you to be the godmother to my first daughter. I want us to wander the streets arm in arm at eighty, and when the day comes, I want to speak at your funeral. I want to be here for you, always and forever. Equally importantly though, I want you to be here for me. Knowing you’re there to turn to in times of need will keep me going, and knowing that there’s times that I will you see you and we will laugh the night away will give me something to look forward to. University is going to be fabulous, but with you around to share the stories with, it’ll be a thousand times better.

And I’m going to miss you. I’m going to miss you more than I can ever put into words. It’s just never going to be the same without you here by my side to keep me sane and make everything okay. It’s not going to be the same when you’re not here to laugh with, to watch movies with, to eat ice cream with. And I know that just sounds like the average ‘goodbye’ speech, but you know it’s more than that. You know I’m not good with words. I need you in my life. And I need to be in your life. I know you’re going to university, but please don’t go any more than that. Please please, I’m begging you.

I don’t want to say goodbye. Winnie the Pooh said ‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’ But saying goodbye is scary. Let’s not make it the end.

I love you to the moon and back, three times over. Big hugs. Speak soon honey.

Alex xxxx

*This is part of a personal summer challenge that I have set myself to write ‘a letter’ to a different person or thing every week. I plan for there to be nine letters in total, and if anyone would like to join in this summer, even if just for one letter, or a letter to a person of their own, please link back to my blog, as I’d love to see it!*