Definition

As I slowly begin to receive emails and messages wishing me luck tomorrow, that sick feeling is sinking further and further into me. Whilst you’re all so awfully cute for wishing me luck, the constant reminder that tomorrow will confirm the path for the rest of my life is something that is difficult to escape.

Tomorrow, for thousands around the country, is A Level results day. Gulp. Although many students, including myself, try to deny the reality, there is one simple fact about tomorrow. It will define us. When we tear open that envelope and see the grades printed before us, thousands of changes happen. We don’t ask for this to be the case, it’s just the unfortunate reality of today’s society. Life choices, plans, celebrations, decisions, and unfortunately, the opinion that many adults have of you will all change tomorrow, at eight thirty.

I’m not going to lie, I’m scared. I’ve had a fabulous and busy day, laughing the afternoon away, but now I am home, the reality has set in. I’ve scurried around packing a bag with pencils, paper, previous exam results, and login details. My heart is racing, and I’ve forgotten how to breathe. It’s still over twelve hours away yet!

I decided a long time ago that I will simply expect the worst for tomorrow. Yes, that may make this evening’s panic more difficult, but I pray that it will make tomorrow’s disappointment easier to handle.

For now, I will try to relax. I’ll drink chai, put my pyjamas on, browse through some photos, and paint my nails. For those who like me are praying for sleep, knowing that they will likely lay awake all night, staring at the ceiling, I wish you luck. For those who will be at school early, hoping not to have to queue and make idle chat, I wish you luck. For those who will be avoiding eye contact with their teachers, I wish you luck. And for all those who aren’t like me, I wish you luck, too.

Tomorrow won’t be easy, and for many, it probably won’t go to the ideal plan, but that doesn’t matter. We need to remember that these are just exam results, and whilst right now, they feel like the end of the world, we cannot let them define us. I know that’s hard, and I’m sure in the morning when I’m crying into my paper, it’s not what I’ll be thinking, but we can try.

Tonight, I’m going to look for a star, and if I find one, I’m going to make a wish. I’ll wish that all of your hopes and dreams will come true, and I’ll wish for your happiness.

Try to stay positive tomorrow, and keep breathing. Be there for your friends, and try not to worry about your parents. They’re just grades, don’t let them define you, because you’re much more if a person than that.

Living. Laughing. Loving.

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